How to deal with big changes in your life
Updated: Mar 22, 2020
Navigating change is overwhelming for some of us. It makes us feel somewhat "powerless." There is an adage "the only thing that is constant is change." Hah! If that is the case, we might as well enjoy the ride. How can we do that?
Tip 1: Mental Flexibility. Our automatic response when something unfamiliar or uncomfortable happens is to set up our defenses. Why? It's in our nature. We detected a threat. But is it really a threat? Have you noticed that the more you fight, the more you experience resistance? It takes courage to embrace these changes, acknowledging that it is happening, albeit uncomfortable, will keep us unstuck. It's yucky, but we have a choice, including being still as we watch the changes unfold. Like Winnie the Pooh said "sometimes doing nothing often leads to the very best of something."
Tip 2: Trust the Process. We always want to know what to expect. Not knowing is intimidating and causes anxiety and fear. Fear of what ifs, what coulds, and what mays. Unknowns are part of our human experience. Embrace the idea of not knowing, because no matter how much we try, we will not know what is going to happen in the next minutes, or days, or years. What are your fears surrounding the change? Write it down and start the process of elimination.
Tip 3: Tapping into our Serenity Prayer. Let's focus on what we can control as we navigate through the curve balls life is throwing at us. Such is life. These curve balls are inevitable and we cannot stop it. I remember my favorite author's quote, Viktor Frankl, "when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." With change, we are also challenged to grow and discover new strengths that we don't know we have. Do we want to be a butterfly or do we want to stay in the cocoon?
I know, it sound so easy. I'm with you. I'm one of those who also struggle dealing with changes. It's difficult, it's scary, and it's uncomfortable. My professor once said, change and comfort cannot coexist.
Reference: Get Out of your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes
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